Mindfulness and the goodness of God

It's 7:15pm, we should be getting ready for bed on this school night of crabby children who have cried over spilled water, unfair game play, markers, biting her own finger while eating a brownie, and several other meltdown worthy catastrophes that have happened since I walked back in the door at 6. Instead of bed time routine they are jumping on the trampoline in our buggy end of summer back yard while I write and listen to the cicadas making their evening racket.
This is my perfect bliss evening, if only Sean was home not at work. However, sometimes I rush them to bed in my desire to get a few snatches of time with Sean instead of enjoying this sweetness.
I have had small floods of gratefulness as well as sentimentality this last week.
Exiting a space in my life where I've felt if not doubtful, at least a little bitter over the gifts I perceived were being given only to be snatched back.
It can be an easy thing to doubt the goodness of God when things feel anything but good. When trying to to figure out how to parent and work through depression, loss, exhaustion, I admit this failing comes to me often.
For a week now in my mindful quiet I've challenged myself to acknowledge God's goodness in any small thing I could find and one thing has come back over and over, the goodness and sweetness of being loved by others. In particular there are a handful of people I've been loved by simply because Sean chose and loved me.
My mother in law who, before she ever met me, chose to love me with such openness only because her son did. She wrote me a letter the first time we dated that contained some of the most open acceptance I think anyone had ever approached me with, and this was a theme in my relationship with her. Even though her son moved far from her, she sent him with prayer, blessing, and a joy mixed sadness to Philadelphia. I never knew I could miss someone that we didn't get to see often so much, but in all sorts of little ways I miss her in our days. I miss my kids not knowing what an amazing loving grandmother she was to them.
There's a long list of friends we hardly ever get to see, but when we do it feels like our home away from home. I am grateful for the family and friends I gained when I married Sean.